The Light at the End of the Tunnel is Not an Oncoming Train!

I haven't posted in a while because I thought this blog had, more or less, run its course. My son was accepted at a school that instead of forcing paper and policies down our throats, was interested in working with him on the ground level. Before school began, the Assistant Principal showed him around and told him how to get through the halls, which stairs to take, etc. His Guidance Counselor emailed teachers to let them know he had an IEP and Behavior Plan in place, but that the parents were more than happy to work things out without it. The first day of school he made two new friends and became reacquainted with an old friend (By the way, this was HUGE). Several days into the first week, he started having anxiety attacks because he could not organize his locker and make it to class on time when he did go to his locker. I called the guidance counselor to let her know, and THAT afternoon, she had talked with Connor and his teachers and come up with a plan. We didn't need to call a new IEP meeting. All it took was one very amicable phone call and Connor got out of the car this morning without a meltdown. This was a beautiful thing! This is how parent-school interactions should be!

Now, I still read and hear stories how schools are failing other students diagnosed with Autism. Schools are still ignoring behavioral needs, especially when the children are so intellectually inclined, or do not communicate effectively. I've seen teachers leave autistic kids in the special ed rooms doing who knows what while they discuss their personal lives. They are doing these kids a dis-service. These kids are so capable and they understand so much more than we give them credit for, because we are so focused on the meltdowns or teaching them to use their words, or helping siblings understand and teaching them to not be embarrassed of their brother or sister.

Schools are still writing bad IEP's because they do not want to pay for services, or take the time to actually customize a child's IEP. They don't offer you the Behavioral Intervention Plan because it might make more work for them. ALL children are entitled to a "free and appropriate education," not just the ones who fit into the school's pretty little box. I tell my "normal" kids to be leaders not followers, so they don't fit the mold either. I'm proud of that. ALL of my kids are "weird." I wouldn't have it any other way!

My point is, the schools are generally not looking out for our kids, they are looking out for their institution. IEP's force them to look out for that one student. Don't trust what they tell you is true if your gut tells you it is not. I've had district-level educators flat-out lie to my face in the IEP meetings. You have to get pushy and fight, and become that parent you always whispered about and stayed ten feet away from because you just aren't sure when they are going to snap. You have to rally and research and find those organizations that WILL help you. I've said it many times, and I will say it many more: Get an advocate! They are out there. Many are free, some are not. Read your parent' handbooks that the school gives you and the IDEA procedural safeguards and use that information that the schools give you to teach them to take care of your child. Cry. Scream. Mutter bad words under your breath so the kids don't hear you. Then do more research. Call advocacy groups or Autism Societies or local hospitals--Somebody will know someone else that will eventually be able to hook you up with help. I never thought I needed an advocate until last year. After seeing how they help, I wish I'd had one since Day One.

So, stop reading my rant already and start making calls. Fire up your computer or tablet or smartphone and look up autism or disability advocates. Tell your school in writing you want a behavioral intervention plan. Your child IS more than a test score. Fight now so your kids don't have to! Fight so that your child can have a school like my son now has, that is willing to work WITH parents and not against us. Good luck! I believe in you!